Tonight I went to a skills night hosted by GGRD, making tonight the fourth time I've been on my skates since moving last May. My legs were shaking, my back was aching, my bad ankle is in full mutiny, and I may have pulled a hip flexor during an ill-fated plow stop. Still, I had a blast. I'm not sure there's a more eloquent way to put that, especially since I'm really, really tired. But it was amazing. The skaters hosting us were fun and super helpful. At first I was a little concerned because I felt like every two minutes someone was correcting my form or giving me pointers - their tips were great and I was definitely being sloppy, but I started getting paranoid that I just completely sucked until Ginger Snap commented that the attention I was receiving was a good thing. Whew! Needless to say I still feel very intimidated by the prospect of playing for Gotham, and I feel really self-conscious about the shape I'm in (or not in, rather). I guess my muscles still halfway remember what to do, though, which is encouraging. After two hours of drills I couldn't really make it up off the floor without a struggle, but I still wanted to keep skating. I can't wait for tryouts in a month.
For the past.. oh, six months or so, I've started to not like my reflection so much. When I look at myself in the mirror, I see exhaustion and stress. Dark circles, eye wrinkles, paleness, tension, stress-induced breakouts. Maybe part of that is I'm just getting a little bit older, even though my students still think I'm 20. Regardless, when I got home tonight I stepped into the bathroom for a shower, and while I was waiting for the water to heat up I glanced in the mirror. I didn't see tiredness for once, or stress. I just saw happy.
Oh, derby. Where have you been my whole life?
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